SHOULD I GET INTO A NEW RELATIONSHIP IMMEDIATELY AFTER BREAKING UP?

Rules of love #2 – Get over it before you get on with it.

BabsHilton:
I totally agree with the writer on this. Yes! Get over your break up before heading into another relationship. Most people are on the look-out for another partner once they break up because they feel being in a relationship is what gives them uttermost peace. But the fact still remains that, if you can’t find peace with-in, none can come with-out. So rediscover yourself, get yourself back together and note the mistakes you made in the last relationship before heading into another.

Rhoda: Why must I get over it before heading into another? There’s a guy who’s been coming around, all caring, loving and romantic, obviously better than my ex, the Mr charming I’ve been waiting for, for ages. I have to get over my break up? What if he gets tired of waiting? So I should let him go because I want to ‘rediscover’ myself? What am I rediscovering in the first place?

BabsHilton: Trust me, a break up comes with hurts, hatred etc, depending on the how that person can control his or her emotions. Not everyone is at their real selves when emotionally down, especially after a break-up. Now, this Prince charming comes, meets you in your not too real self and falls in love with that current personality of yours. You, needing the care and all goodies he brings also falls in ‘love’ and eventually heeds to his request to be an item. A time will come when your wounded heart will be healed and your original being resurfaces. Trust me, your ‘Prince Charming’ won’t see anything charming in you anymore. Unless he’s a rare kind, compatible with either an independent or dependent lady.

Rhoda: Love should be given to who you feel deserves it the most. There is a big difference between Consoling and Loving. That a person has just experienced a break up, does not mean his/her sense of reasoning also broke down. Common sense should be able to tell you the difference between someone who is consoling you and someone who is loving you genuinely. Yes, there’s a thin line that separates love from feelings, therefore your eyes should be open, you know the state at which you are, so you shouldn’t be deceived. Apply common sense to love or else you will keep getting hurt. So, I feel one can get into another relationship even after a breakup as long as they are in their right senses and they are giving their heart to the right person.

BabsHilton: Rhoda is speaking from the strong lady’s point of view, but I must let you know that not all ladies are emotionally strong. There are the weak ones whom it takes time for their emotional wounds to heal. Guys take advantage of these ladies, lure them into their arms and in the end they get heart-broken again. I had a friend who kept finding herself in this situation and as a result hates men. I would agree with you on the common sense statement. But like they say, common sense is not common, however when it comes to issues of the heart, please ladies and gentlemen obtain and apply it. So I would advice, if you’re emotionally weak, take your time, let your wounds heal before getting into another. Now that’s common sense (smiles).

SHOULD ONE REMAIN IN CONTACT WITH ONE’S EX?

Rhoda: Well to an extent, yes. There should be a level of trust between a couple. The man should be able to assess the relationship between him and his ex, his partner should be able to also. When/if it can’t be assessed, an inquiry can be made to ascertain what exactly is between them. If it is certain that there’s nothing but friendship between them, it’s ok, they can still be in contact.

BabsHilton: I totally disagree with you. No one would like his/her partner to still be in contact with their ex. I will make this explanation as practical as possible. Rhoda, as a lady who is in a relationship with a guy you really love, how would you feel if his ex keeps calling? What would you think?

Rhoda: Keeps Calling? Why should she keep calling?

BabsHilton: You see! There you go people. No one, not even Rhoda would allow an ex pry into her relationship. So my take on this is - an ex should be an ex and remain there. Shikena.

Newer Post Older Post